


Wake Up

by SS_Chaos_Sauce



Category: BomBARDed, BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: GODBLESS, The Baby Joby theory, but honestly, im sorry that I only write one thing and it’s this, who the fuck cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 06:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SS_Chaos_Sauce/pseuds/SS_Chaos_Sauce
Summary: “Randy! Randy! Wake up! Wake up!” Joby bounces on Randy’s bed and pulled at his night shirt. Randy pulled a pillow dramatically over his face and sighed.





	Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “It’s time to wake up” Joby & Randy/Randy & the Nowhereman. Back at it again with Joby, no one asks for this but I wrote it anyway.

“Randall, it’s time to wake up, there’s someone who’s waiting to meet you.” His father knelt by his bed and shook Randy gently. The young halfling rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stood, taking his father’s hand. His father led them out of the unfamiliar guest room into the large sterile room his mother was resting in. “Be careful now Randall, Mother has had a long day and she still needs her rest. Now, why do I introduce you to your new baby brother.” Bundled in rich blue swaddling cloth lay a tiny baby. A bear was embroidered on the stocking cap he wore and his eyes were scrunched close. “Randall, this is Jacobi. He’s very small so it’s gonna be up to you to make sure he stays safe and stays out of trouble.” Mr. Greentrees carefully lifted the baby from his wife’s arms. “Hold out your arms.” Randy accepted the fragile package as his father placed the newborn into his arms. The baby waved his fists in the air and Randy smiled. “Hey there Ja’bi,” The delicate middle syllables were crushed in the mouth of the 8 year old, giving the youngest Greentrees his new nickname, Joby. 

 

“Randy! Randy! Wake up! Wake up!” Joby bounces on Randy’s bed and pulled at his night shirt. Randy pulled a pillow dramatically over his face and sighed. “Come one Randy! It’s time to wake up! Your gonna make us late for the festival!” Joby whined and pulled at Randy until he sat up, scooping his younger brother into a bear hug. “Alright Jo-Jo, I’m up. Mother would kill me if you were late, she worried enough leaving the two of us here alone while she’s helping in town.” Randy plopped his brother on to the floor unceremoniously and moved to his closet. He pulled on a soft wool sweater, he also removed a bag from where it was hiding in the back corner. Joby, already dressed, wiggled with excitement when he spotted the bag. “What izzit?! What izzit?!” Joby’s missing tooth made his childish glee even more infectious and Randy found himself grinning as he gave the bag to Joby. “Happy winter solstice Jo, don’t tell Mother, your not supposed to get any presents until tonight, but I just couldn’t wait.” He smiled as Joby hurriedly pulled out the tissue paper and revealed the soft brown teddy bear underneath. Joby hugged it to his chest, then rushed forward to hug Randy.   
Joby slept peacefully on top of Randy’s shoulders. Randy and his mother walked side by side in a comfortable silence. The family had forgone their usual carriage in order to enjoy the winter air as they walked home. Behind them a branch cracked. Randy turned to see the newcomer and felt his blood run cold. Out of the woods came a masked figure, who Randy guessed to be about his age. The teddy bear slipped from Joby’s grasp and fell to the path. Joby shifted, but kept sleeping. Two more bandits flanked the original figure and Randy felt for his courage. “We don’t want any trouble.” His mother hissed at him to be quiet but Randy held his ground and not his tongue. “We’ll give you what ever you ask, just as long as you let us go our way in peace.”   
“You need to wake up from what ever dreamland you’re living in, ain’t you heard of us boy?” The masked elf laughed as he mocked him. A another masked elf appeared from behind him without any warning. “Now now, , there is no need to be rude to this fine young gentleman. We must assume he is unfamiliar with our little *company*.” The elf had a smooth, charmed voice. She spoke with confidence and bravado. ”May I introduce ourselves, we are the Nowhereman.” Mrs. Greentrees gasped with recognition. “I see my reputation has proceeded me. We don’t intend any harm, we are just looking for a little *assistance* as you’d say. Our numbers have been thin lately, you see, and that little one you’re towing would make a fine Nowhe-“  
“No.” Randy was blunt, he would not put his little brother into danger by handing him over to this corrupted good ol’ boy. The Nowhereman was taken aback by his out burst, but Randy refused to let her find her feet. He had already noticed the three other bandits that had flanked his little family. There wasn’t a good way out, but Randy only cared that his mother and Joby got home safe. “If you want fresh blood I recommend you set you sights on some older crew,” Randy swung Joby down from his shoulders and pushed him backwards towards their mother, simultaneously taking a long stride forward. “Besides, a willing “applicant” has to superior to a captive one.”   
The lead Nowhereman cocked her expressionless head to the side in mock astonishment.  
“Young man, are you suggesting yourself for the role of apprentice?” The elf circled the halfling, appraising him like a farmer looking to by a calf. “You look strong, if a little to strong willed. I’m sure the boss will fix that.” She stopped and faced him, pulling her mask up, she revealed her beautiful face. Randy was shocked to see that she was, in fact, as young as he guessed. She smirked and took her face in her hands, abruptly tilting his chin up to face her. “Now would be the time for your name, boy.” He stared at her and swallowed. “Randall. My name is Randall.” The pretty elf leaned in with a devilish smile. With her lips pressed to his ear she whispered the name that he would come to hate over the next few years. *”Rhiannon”*

They bound Randy’s hands and made him watch as they robbed his mother and brother. Rhiannon spotted the discarded teddy bear and snatched it. “What’s this? Does wittle Wandall sweep with a teddy weddy? *Ha!*” She tossed the bear at Randy’s feet, “There, why don’t you hold on to that, we wouldn’t want you getting nightmares, now would we?” The charm had leaked from her voice, leaving her grating and loud. Randy began to hate her.   
The walk back to the encampment was long and tiring. When they arrived, Rhiannon bound his legs and shoved him into a tent, two guards kept watch outside. In the morning he woke to a solid kick to the ribs and the silver voice of Rhiannon. “It’s time to wake up, runt, Boss wants to see you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Shout the fuck out to the BomBARDed discord for putting up w/me. Also s/o to my D&D discord for asking about my angst, here y’all go, angst from your friendly neighborhood Beef. <3 Love Y’all!


End file.
